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Archive for December, 2006

What causes brain freeze??? Damn this ice cream!

December 26, 2006 at 5:29 am · Filed under Bizarre news

“Brain freeze” is the pain sometimes inflicted by devouring something cold like ice cream or a cold beverage, often very quickly.

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50 funniest Homer Simpson Quotes

December 22, 2006 at 5:34 am · Filed under Bizarre news

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.

Well, it’s 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

Maybe, just once, someone will call me ‘Sir’ without adding, ‘You’re making a scene.’

Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.

Doughnuts. Is there anything they can’t do?

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.

When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.

I’m going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes!

[Meeting Aliens] Please don’t eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

Marge, you’re as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it’s time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

When I look at the smiles on all the children’s faces, I just know they’re about to jab me with something.

I’m having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!

Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn’t, it’s that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

I’m not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I’m going to Hell?

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races.

It’s not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.

Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman’s bottom? That’s right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman.

Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Homer no function beer well without.

I’ve always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is — and it’s me.

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can’t speak English.

I’m never going to be disabled. I’m sick of being so healthy.

I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.

[Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]
Hee hee! Look at this country! ‘You-are-gay.’

All my life I’ve had one dream, to achieve my many goals.

Dad, you’ve done a lot of great things, but you’re a very old man, and old people are useless.

But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.

I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.

Dear Lord.. The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here’s the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won’t ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal.

That’s it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I’m going to clown college!

Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.

If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing

I’m in no condition to drive…wait! I shouldn’t listen to myself, I’m drunk!

‘To Start Press Any Key’. Where’s the ANY key?

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30 Funniest Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

December 22, 2006 at 5:25 am · Filed under Bizarre news

I was the best man at the wedding. If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him?

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you’ll wind up naked.

You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, “See if you can blow this out.”

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.

That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me

There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men don’t think there’s a lot they don’t know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, “I know what I’m doing, just show me somebody naked.”

According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason

The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. “Come on, buddy, let’s go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he’s got a spoon. Back off. I’ve got the toe clippers right here.”

Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they’re killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? “Sweetheart, let’s make up. Have this deceased squirrel.”

Why do they call it a “building”? It looks like they’re finished. Why isn’t it a “built”?

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we’re doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They’re very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.

The big advantage of a book is it’s very easy to rewind. Close it and you’re right back at the beginning.

I have a friend who’s collecting unemployment insurance. This guy has never worked so hard in his life as he has to keep this thing going. He’s down there every week, waiting on the lines and getting interviewed and making up all these lies about looking for jobs. If they had any idea of the effort and energy that he is expending to avoid work, I’m sure they’d give him a raise.

To me, a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We’re all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there is a problem the lawyer is the only person who has read the inside of the top of the box.

Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman’s point of view that men are all the same; so we might as well dress them that way. That’s why a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride and some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, created by women because they know that men are undependable. So in case the groom chickens out, everybody just takes one step over, and she marries the next guy.

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that’s the law.

I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can’t smell it. Can’t eat it. Can’t taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, “Well, here it is. You can’t have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye.”

Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there’s no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.

See, the thing of it is, there’s a lot of ugly people out there walking around but they don’t know they’re ugly because nobody actually tells them.

What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all the time, whenever it came to them? How long would a blind date last? About 13 seconds, I think. “Oh, sorry, your rear end is too big.” “That’s ok, your breath stinks anyway. See you later.”

You know what I never get with the limo? The tinted windows. Is that so people don’t see you? Yeah, what a better way not to have people notice you than taking a thirty foot Cadillac with a TV antenna and a uniformed driver. How discreet. Nobody cares who’s in the limo. You see a limo go by, you know it’s either some rich jerk or fifty prom kids with $1.75 each.

You can measure distance by time. “How far away is it?” “Oh about 20 minutes.” But it doesn’t work the other way. “When do you get off work?” “Around 3 miles.”

Are there keys to a plane? Maybe that’s what those delays are sometimes, when you’re just sitting there at the gate. Maybe the pilot sits up there in the cockpit going, “Oh, I don’t believe this. Dammit..I did it again.” They tell you it’s something mechanical because they don’t want to come on the P.A. system, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’re going to be delayed here on the ground for a while. I uh..Oh, God this is so embarrassing…I, I left the keys to the plane in my apartment. They’re in this big ashtray by the front door. I’m sorry, I’ll run back and get them.”

I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren’t cows outside a lot of the time? When it’s raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, “Let us in! We’re all wearing leather! Open the door! We’re going to ruin the whole outfit here!”

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Famous Last Words!

December 22, 2006 at 5:13 am · Filed under Bizarre news

Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Francisco (“Pancho”) Villa

I’ll be in Hell before you start breakfast!
“Black Jack” Ketchum, notorious train robber

Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Voltaire (attributed), when asked by a priest to renounce Satan

Get these fucking nuns away from me.
Norman Douglas

Don’t worry…it’s not loaded…
Terry Kath, rock musician in the band Chicago Transit Authority as he put the gun he was cleaning to his head and pulled the trigger.

Is someone hurt?
Robert F. Kennedy, to his wife directly after he was shot and seconds before he fell into a coma.

Die, my dear? Why that’s the last thing I’ll do!
Groucho Marx

Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough!

Karl Marx, asked by his housekeeper what his last words were

I have a terrific headache.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who died of a massive cerebral hemorrhage

I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.
Richard Feynman

Drink to me!
Pablo Picasso

I have not told half of what I saw.
Marco Polo, Venetian traveller and writer

Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking towards me, without hurrying.
Jean Cocteau

Dammit… Don’t you dare ask God to help me.
Joan Crawford. This comment was directed towards her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.

Lord help my poor soul
Edgar Allan Poe

Thank God. I’m tired of being the funniest person in the room.
Del Close, improvisor, teacher and comedian, died 1999

I have tried so hard to do right.
Grover Cleveland, US President, died 1908

I don’t have the passion anymore, and so remember, it’s better to burn out than to fade away. Peace, Love, Empathy. Kurt Cobain.
Kurt Cobain (in his suicide note), Lead singer for American grunge band Nirvana, referencing a song by Neil Young.

In keeping with Channel 40’s policy of bringing you the latest in blood and guts and in living color, you are going to see another first — attempted suicide.
30-year-old anchorwoman Christine Chubbuck, who, on July 15, 1974, during technical difficulties during a broadcast, said these words on-air before producing a revolver and shooting herself in the head. She was pronounced dead in hospital fourteen hours later.

It’s very beautiful over there.
Thomas Edison

Now why did I do that?
General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.

Don’t worry, relax!
Rajiv Gandhi, Indian Prime Minister, to his security staff minutes before being killed by a suicide bomber attack.

No! I didn’t come here to make a speech. I came here to die.
Crawford Goldsby, aka Cherokee Bill, when asked if he had anything to say before he was hanged.

I really need a therapist’
Christopher Grace, an actor who killed himself during a matinee performance of Greece

I know you’ve come to kill me. Shoot, you are only going to kill a man.
Che Guevara

I’m tired of fighting.
Harry Houdini

I see black light.
Victor Hugo

LSD, 100 kilograms I.M.
Aldous Huxley To his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.

Let me go to the Father’s house
Pope John Paul II

I’m bored with it all.
Winston Churchill, before slipping into a coma and dying nine days later.

I know not what tomorrow will bring.
Fernando Pessoa, Portuguese poet

Jesus, I love you. Jesus, I love you.
Mother Teresa

Don’t disturb my circles!
Archimedes

I hope the exit is joyful and hope never to return.
Frida Kahlo

Dear World, I am leaving you because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool – good luck. (suicide note)
George Sanders, Actor

They couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance.
General John Sedgwick, Union Commander in the U.S. Civil War, who was hit by sniper fire a few minutes after saying it

Dying is easy, comedy is hard.
George Bernard Shaw

I’m losing.
Frank Sinatra

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius. Will you remember to pay the debt?
Socrates

My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go.
Oscar Wilde

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5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

December 22, 2006 at 5:04 am · Filed under Bizarre news

The questions are:

What are you thinking about?
Do you love me?
Do I look fat?
Do you think she is prettier than me?
What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.

Question # 1: What are you thinking about?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: “I’m sorry if I’ve been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you.” This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:

Baseball.
Football.
How fat you are.
How much prettier she is than you.
How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, “If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!”)

Question # 2: Do you love me?

The proper response is: “YES!” or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, “Yes, dear.” Inappropriate responses include:

I suppose so.
Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
That depends on what you mean by love.
Does it matter?
Who, me?

Question # 3: Do I look fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic: “Of course not!” Among the incorrect answers are:

Compared to what?
I wouldn’t call you fat, but you’re not exactly thin.
A little extra weight looks good on you.
I’ve seen fatter.
Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question # 4: Do you think she’s prettier than me?

Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: “Of course not!” Incorrect responses include:

Yes, but you have a better personality
Not prettier, but definitely thinner
Not as pretty as you, when you were her age
Define ‘pretty’
Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question #5: What would you do if I died?

A definite no-win question. (The real answer, or course, is “Buy a Corvette.”)

No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:

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Top 15 Strangest Coincidences

December 22, 2006 at 4:15 am · Filed under Bizarre news

It was written

Mark Twain was born on the day of the appearance of Halley’s Comet in 1835, and died on the day of its next appearance in 1910. He himself predicted this in 1909, when he said: “I came in with Halley’s Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it.”

Oregon’s Columbian newspaper announced the winning Pick 4 lottery numbers for June 28, 2000 in advance. The newspaper had intended to print the previous set of winning numbers but erroneously printed those for the state of Virginia, namely 6-8-5-5. In the next Oregon lottery, those same numbers were drawn.

In 1979, the German magazine – Das Besteran – ran a writing competition. Readers sent in unusual stories, but they had to be based on true incidents. The winner, Walter Kellner of Munich, had his story published . He wrote about a time when he was flying a Cessna 421 between Sardinia and Sicily. He encountered engine trouble at sea, landed in the water, spent some time in an emergency dinghy and was then rescued. This story was spotted by an Austrian, also named Walter Kellner, who said that the German Kellner had plagiarized the story. The Austrian Kellner said that he had flown a Cessna 421 over the same sea, experienced engine trouble and was forced to land in Sardinia. It was essentially the same story, with a slightly different ending. The magazine checked both stories, and both turned out to be true, even though they were nearly identical.

Morgan Robertson’s 1898 novella Futility had many parallels with the RMS Titanic disaster; the book concerned a fictional state-of-the-art ocean liner called Titan, which (like the Titanic) eventually collides with an iceberg on a calm April night whilst en route to New York, with many dying because of the lack of lifeboats. Various other details in the book coincide with the Titanic disaster. Later, she wrote a book, Beyond the Spectrum, that described a future war fought with aircraft that carried “sun bombs”. Incredibly powerful, one bomb could destroy a city, erupting in a flash of light that blinds all who look at it. The war begins in December, started by the Japanese with a sneak attack on Hawaii.

Death calls twice

On July 28th 1900, the King of Italy Umberto I was having dinner in a restaurant in the city of Monza. It turned out later that the restaurant’s owner looked identical to the king. The restaurant owner’s name was Umberto, his wife’s name was the same as the queen’s and the restaurant was opened on the same date as the king’s inauguration. The Restaurant-owner Umberto was shot dead the next day. So was King Umberto.

Claude Volbonne killed Baron Rodemire de Tarazone of France in 1872. 21 years earlier, the Baron’s father had been murdered by somebody else called Claude Volbonne.

On February 13, 1746, a Frenchman, Jean Marie Dubarry, was executed for the murder of his father. Precisely 100 years later, on February 13, 1846, another Frenchman, also named Jean Marie Dubarry, was executed – for the murder of his father.

On the 26th November, 1911, three men were hanged at Greenberry Hill in London after being convicted of the murder of Sir Edmund Berry. Their names were Green, Berry and Hill.

Just in Time

The British actor Anthony Hopkins [who shot to fame as Hannibal Lecter] was delighted to hear that he had landed a leading role in a film based on the book The Girl From Petrovka by George Feifer. A few days after signing the contract, Hopkins travelled to London to buy a copy of the book. He tried several bookshops, but there wasn’t one to be had. Waiting at Leicester Square underground for his train home, he noticed a book apparently discarded on a bench. Incredibly, it was The Girl From Petrovka. That in itself would have been coincidence enough but in fact it was merely the beginning of an extraordinary chain of events. Two years later, in the middle of filming in Vienna, Hopkins was visited by George Feifer, the author. Feifer mentioned that he did not have a copy of his own book. He had lent the last one – containing his own annotations – to a friend who had lost it somewhere in London. With mounting astonishment, Hopkins handed Feifer the book he had found. ‘Is this the one?’ he asked, ‘with the notes scribbled in the margins?’ It was the same book.

As the inhabitants of Ruthwell, Dumfriesshire, were watching a scene in the film Around the World in 80 Days, where a hot air balloon was about to take off, their TV sets went off due to a power cut. Nearby, power lines had been damaged. A hot air balloon had crashed into them.

Hernán Cortés’ arrival in Mexico in 1519 coincided with the year in the Mayan Calendar when it was predicted that the pale-faced man-god Quetzalcoatl would return to reclaim the city of Tenochtitlán. The Aztecs therefore assumed Cortés to be the legendary man-god, which assisted him in capturing the city and thence Mexico.

Lightning strikes back

A British officer, Major Summerford, while fighting in the fields of Flanders in February 1918 was knocked off his horse by a flash of lightning and paralyzed from the waist down. Summerford retired and moved to Vancouver. One day in 1924, as he fished alongside a river, lightning hit the tree he was sitting under and paralyzed his right side. Two years later Summerford was sufficiently recovered that he was able to take walks in a local park. He was walking there one summer day in 1930 when a lightning bolt smashed into him, permanently paralyzing him. He died two years later. But lightning sought him out one last time. Four years later, during a storm, lightning struck a cemetery and destroyed a tombstone. The deceased buried here? Major Summerford.

In 1899 a bolt of lightning killed a man as he stood in his backyard in Taranto, Italy.
Thirty years later his son was killed in the same way and in the same place.
On October 8, 1949, Rolla Primarda, the grandson of the first victim and the son of the second, became the third.

D-Day: The Normandy invasion

The date of the invasion June 6,1944 {6644} reflects the first great invasion associated with Normandy in 1066

In the first Invasion in 1066 Roger de Montgomery commanded portions of William the Conquerors Forces.

In the second Invasion 1944 Bernard Montgomery commanded portions of Eisenhower’s Forces.

German General Rommel -Montgomery’s adversary in an earlier Campaign in N. Africa Commits suicide on October 14, 1944 {101444}

The Battle of Hastings took place on October 14 {101466}

Eisenhower’s Birthday was October 14 {101490}

The first Norman invasion initiated the first major immigration of Jews into Britain.

The second Norman invasion initiated the chain of events that returned the Jews to Israel

A. Lincoln and J.F. Kennedy

Life

Both presidents had 7 letters in their last name.

Both were over 6′ feet tall.

Both men studied law.

Both seemed to have lazy eye muscles, which would sometimes cause one to deviate.

Both suffered from genetic diseases. It is suspected that Lincoln had Marfan’s disease, and Kennedy suffered from Addison’s disease.

Both served in the military. Lincoln was a scout captain in the Black Hawk War, and Kennedy served as a navy lieutenant in World War II.

Both were boat captains. Lincoln was a skipper for the Talisman, a Mississippi River boat, and Kennedy was skipper of the PT 109.

Both had no fear of their mortality and disdained bodyguards.

Both often stated how easy it would be to shoot the president. Lincoln supposedly said, “If somebody wants to take my life, there is nothing I can do to prevent it.” Kennedy supposedly said “If somebody wants to shoot me from a window with a rifle, nobody can stop it.” Note that both these quotes are each 16 words long.

Death

Both presidents were shot in the head, on a Friday.

Both were seated beside their wives when shot. Neither Mrs. Lincoln nor Mrs. Kennedy was injured. Both wives held the bullet-torn heads of their husbands.

In each case, the man was injured but not fatally. Major Henry Rathbone was slashed by a knife, and Governor John Connolly was shot.

Lincoln sat in Box 7 at Ford’s Theatre. Kennedy rode in car 7 in the Dallas motorcade.

Lincoln was shot at Ford’s Theatre. Kennedy was shot in a Ford product, a Lincoln limousine.

Mrs. Kennedy insisted that her husband’s funeral mirror Lincoln’s as closely as possible.

The Assassins

Both assassins used three names: John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald. (It should be noted that Lee Harvey Oswald was known as just Lee Oswald prior to the assassination.)

There are 15 letters in each assassin’s name.

Both assassins struck when in their mid-twenties. Booth was born in 1838, and Oswald was born in 1939.

Each assassin lacked a strong father figure in his life. Booth’s father died when he was 13 years old, and Oswald’s father died before he was born.

Each assassin had two brothers whose careers he coveted. Booth’s two brothers were more successful actors and Oswald envied his brothers’ military lives.

Both assassins were privates in the military. Booth was a private in the Virginia Militia, and Oswald was a private in the Marine Corps.

Both assassins were born in the south.

Both assassins were known sympathizers to enemies of the United States. Booth supported the Confederacy and Oswald was a Marxist.

Both assassins often used aliases. Booth frequently used “J. Wilkes” and Oswald used the name “Alek J. Hidell.”

Booth shot Lincoln at a theatre and was cornered in a warehouse. Oswald shot Kennedy from a warehouse and was cornered in a theatre.

Each assassin was detained by an officer named Baker. Lt. Luther B. Baker was leader of the cavalry patrol which trapped Booth at Garrett’s Barn. Officer Marion L. Baker, a Dallas motorcycle patrolman, briefly detained Oswald on the second floor of the School Book Depository until he learned that he worked there.

Both assassins were killed with a single shot from a Colt revolver.

Both assassins were shot in a blaze of light-Booth after the barn was set afire, and Oswald in the form of television cameras.

Family and Friends

Both presidents were named after their grandfathers.

Both were born second children.

Both married while in their thirties. Lincoln married at 33 and Kennedy married at 36.

Both married dark-haired, twenty-four-year-old women.

Both wives died around the age of 64. Mary Todd Lincoln died in 1882 at age 63 years and 215 days, and Jackie Kennedy died in 1994 at age 64 years 295 days.

Both wives were known for their high fashion in clothes.

Both wives renovated the White House after many years of neglect.

Each couple had four children, two of whom died before becoming a teen.

Each couple lost a son while in the White House. Willie Lincoln died at age 12 in 1862, and Kennedy’s son Patrick died two days after his birth in 1963.

Politics

Both presidents were elected to the House of Representatives in ‘46.

Both were runners-up for the party’s nomination for vice-president in ‘56.

Both were elected to the presidency in ‘60.

Vice-Presidents

Southern Democrats named Johnson succeeded both Lincoln and Kennedy (Andrew Johnson and Lyndon Baines Johnson.

Andrew Johnson was born in 1808, and Lyndon Johnson was born in 1908.

There are six letters in each Johnson’s first name.

Both Johnsons served in the military. Andrew was a brigadier general in the Civil War and Lyndon was a commander in the U.S. Navy during WW2.

Both Johnsons were former southern senators.

Both Johnsons had urethral stones, the only presidents to have them.

Both Johnsons chose not to run for reelection in ‘68.

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Microsoft Interview Questions

December 21, 2006 at 9:31 pm · Filed under funny pictures

The following are actual questions from actual interviews conducted by Microsoft employees on the main campus. Microsoft Consultants are sometimes allowed to have a life, so questions asked of them during interviews don’t really count and aren’t listed.
The questions tend to follow some basic themes:
* Riddles
* Algorithms
* Apple

read more | digg story

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God Orders Children’s Death, Invasion of Iraq

December 21, 2006 at 9:06 pm · Filed under funny pictures

A woman who claimed God ordered her to make a human sacrifice chose to throw her three children into San Fransisco Bay… In a related story…

read more | digg story

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Japanese man survives 3 weeks in ‘hibernation’

December 21, 2006 at 2:54 pm · Filed under funny pictures

A man who went missing in western Japan survived in near-freezing weather without food and water for over three weeks by falling into a state similar to hibernation, doctors said.

read more | digg story

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Sleeping man causes flight cancellation

December 21, 2006 at 2:54 pm · Filed under funny pictures

A flight from Raleigh to Cincinnati was canceled this morning after it was discovered that a man had fallen asleep on the plane sometime overnight.

read more | digg story

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Archive for December, 2006

What causes brain freeze??? Damn this ice cream!

50 funniest Homer Simpson Quotes

30 Funniest Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

Famous Last Words!

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